Run-down

Remember I said that I’ll be dealing with the lessons that I’ve learned during the Single Women’s Encounter last June? Tracking back now, obviously, I haven’t done it.

These past few weeks I was busy. Busy thinking about my job, my life. Am I at the right place and time? Is this really what I want? Is this what’s in-store for me? Why am I here? Am I disappointing my boss? Did I lose my connection with old friends? Am I focusing on things that don’t really matter at the goal line? How’s my heart? How’s my attitude? Am I giving my best for God? Am I a good testimony? When will all these questions end?

I’m very confused with what’s happening to me at this point in time. Well. No. I’m really not. I understand why am I in this kind of situation BUT I don’t wanna accept it to heart. You see, whatever you do and you started it with a wrong driving force, you’ll end up getting stuck in a quicksand. The more you hold on to it, the bigger the chance of sweeping over it. Whilst the more loose, the better of surviving. Did I make sense on that? Me and my mind doesn’t makes too much sense at A LOT of times.

Anyhoo. Something bout my previous weeks. Um. I’m still puzzled on the How-Tos of my job and I’m not certain if I’m doing it (the things that I do, like writing articles and stuff) are delivering. On my side, I feel that it aren’t. I noticed that I get easily discourage whenever my boss edit out my writing-slash-researching, it’s like ‘Where did it all go?’. And oh dear, That attitude is a Killer; bad kill I must say. The reason that I’m all too sensitive about it is because I know in my heart I haven’t done the best I can. What I gave out is some mediocre work. It’s frustrating. I feel like I’m being all too bored and lazy with myself. And Bruno Mars’ Lazy Song is not an excuse to all of it. Somewhere along the line, the Polaris won’t show up anymore. That kind of feeling. (Dear Boss, if you happen to read this, I’m so sorry; doing my all now to save what’s left of Excellence. Promise.) Yes, I am. And that brings me to a lesson I’ve learned from Miss Kata De Jesus in the Single Women’s Encounter–Find Your True North and Pursue Excellence.

Why am I doing what I’m doing and why should I give my best? Simple. At all times, remember 1 Corinthians 3:10 “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” I know this by heart but the application is not that easy to follow. Work in progress, that’s what I am. I’m stubborn and I fall into pits of laziness and mediocrity every after fall. Going back to things that really matters is a struggle at one point or another. Good thing, I have gorgeous DGroup (discipleship group, in our church, they’re like family and accountability partners), sisters-in-Christ at work or in my wonderful college years, my mom and prayer. And what I need now is some extra effort from thyself to accomplish this dream of mine to be a good testimony for God’s glory that would make Him really proud of me.

I’m still in the process of fixing myself–pursuing God 100 percent should be the main goal. I’m far from the one-fourth of the goal line and I need to work my strut out now. This phase of my life, being a young professional, brings up my real attitude on things. I got some, well, a lot of breaking free “froms”, will power, effort and God’s grace ahead of me.

Focus. Eyes on price. Cheers!

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