The past weeks were a combination of confusions, decisions, realizations and now-what-I-shall-do-sions week. Just crazy.
Prayer and fasting week was indeed a truly blessed week. However, I must confess that I have not finish the fast. From the fifth to seventh day, I was in struggle. And still am. You know how I’m so much of a Filipino? Do you know ningas kugon? I think I have mastered that attitude. And it’s truly bad. :( It’s only the start of the month and yet I am not doing what I should on my Make-My-Daddy-Proud-path. I am such a disappointment to myself and to the Big Guy. And I know I got to change. Dear Change, why you so hard on me?
You know how sometimes, I just felt that I lost my sense of Discipline. I always remember, growing up, I will always do my best in school–I would memorize everything for the exams and as much as I could I would perfect all my quizzes and do my part on recitations. Then, everything seems to change when I was on my high school senior year to college
to now. I dunno what happened. I seemed to be very relax, very petics. And I feel like I’m losing all the hype of being one disciplined child. Boo me. I know.
What I’m trying, and I think I should push myself really hard on the word TRY, to do now is to regain all those senses of hardcore discipline. The type where I will not just talk about what I’m gonna do, instead, I will DO it. Man, I am one struggling woman in every aspect of life! For realzz. I must not deal in the mud for too long, it’s time to get up. And by getting up, it means, it’s time to move on.
Somebody once said, your time on earth is your life. You should not waste your time. And yes, I won’t. I’m gonna invest a hundred percent on discipline now. Ha! Dad, I really (badly) need Your strength and grace to carry me on this.
And with that, I’m gonna give you my moodboard for this January (because I’m so random like that). Whatever it is, let’s all JUST START.
For a quick note, here’s what I did for my Sketchday Saturday.