The Thought of You Always Leads to a Haircut

You are the little girl in nursery class who threw my metallic bag that spilled my baby cologne down the trash bin when we were four years old. You even lied about it like the way you did when our teacher asked who among the class correctly pronounced the word “Christmas” to which us kids won’t really get the first time but I have, unawarely, read out loud.

You are the sixth grade classmate who laughed at me because I can’t get the right spelling of a Tagalog word in the class competition that made our team placed last because of my participation. When I sat down my table, you even asked me why did I had such a hard time spelling out the easiest word given among team representatives.

You are the insubordinate group member in the Noli Me Tangere play who refused to follow whatever, I, as a leader said about rehearsing the lines. You just go ahead and excuse yourself every now and then to take a break without my permission. You are the eyes that despised my presence and the lips that said nasty things about me.

You are the guy with different set of friends apart from mine but get along with me and my music really really fine. We even got a special bond which always reminds me of the guy in the hallway from Sophomore year who I invested quite a lot of live wire of emotional hormones. It was, it will never be, neither you or him, for me.

You are the middle-aged woman who was not convinced with my smile and thought that my face always looks like frowning which made me look more than my age. You repeatedly said that and I started to believe it.

You are the so many things that discouraged, bruised and pushed people down. You are the fearful and the lover of doubt who masters worry like her second language. You are the loser, the defeated, the abandoned.

Even out of all these, let’s not forget that you are also the kid who stayed strong after finding her bag and baby cologne in the dump – picking it up and going back to class like nothing happened.

You are outraging courage who managed to look at things on the brighter side of, not only situations, but of each and every person you meet. You are forgiveness and five gallons of understanding even it’s a darn hard thing to do. You are believer, fighter, hope-bearer. You are proof that in any lose-some moments, you are the star in the starting over. And you’ll do it again and again and again. You are candle lit in the darkness and made everyone see. You are a combination of the hurt knocking from the past and the joy pushing you to continue the journey called life.

You are all these. And when I think of you, I know it is just about the right time to stroll down the parlor to give my messy uncombed hair…

(Or maybe not so much of a messy hair) its most deserved break.

It’s what I got to do to remember that I can breathe, rest and take time. It’s a reminder that someday, someday, I can embrace Change with fervent passion and excitement. :)

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