Small Things

I was at the Bureau of Internal Revenue (BIR) today, yesterday and last week. I had been fixing something for our organization regarding this new BIR policy on official receipts and invoices for business owners. The old ORs/invoices will be invalid starting July 1, hence, new ones are needed to be printed out before the end of this month; those who won’t be able to comply will be penalized with P20,000-P50,000 (that’s A LOT of money especially for small business and NGOs huhu). I think the BIR wasn’t able to communicate this information properly with the business owners even though they’re telling the news that it has been proclaimed six months ago (we only knew about this policy at the end of May). What’s kind of more  frustrating about it is that they are not going to extend the deadline. Talk about mercy! Dear Lord, please help our organization not get penalized. (please pray for us too — the processing of papers, printing of new receipts before deadline; we can’t afford to be penalized)

***

Sometimes I just wanna complain because of all this “messengerial” duties that I’m doing now and in the previous months. There would be moments that I would think that this is not what I’m supposed to be doing since it was never a part of my job-description nor it was a course that I finished in College. And there would also be moments where I ask myself if this is what I’m worth?

Before I get too succumbed by all the lies in my head, I had to snap out of it by renewing my perspectives in life.

***

Most people don’t understand my field of work — they don’t really get it. I totally understand them since I myself took my time in figuring out all the whys I had in mind.

If you must know, I am working as a Program Officer for a non-government organization (NGO) for two years now. I had tendered my resignation last February of this year but I’m still extended up to this time.

Six months back, aside from being a Program person, my boss requested if I could do the admin stuff in the office since our Admin Officer resigned then. At first I thought it was easy, but boy, I was so wrong! (!!!) It was never anything that I thought it would be. It got me at the verge of insanity at some point. HAHA. Added to that, I was doing most of the messengerial errands already (long story…). Admin work is fine but messengerial? To be honest, I don’t like it. I felt that I don’t deserve to be one.

***

Here’s a thing about humility: Jesus washed the feet of His disciples.

I don’t know when or what particular month in those six months that I felt peace in what I’m doing as a Program/Admin/Messengerial person at the office. I’m always praying to God that He will always guide me wherever I go or whatever I do because I wanted to please Him and obey Him. And I know I had failed many times, but I kept praying for a heart that is willing to be used by Him everyday anyways.

There were times that I felt that I’m not appreciated in spite of what I’m doing but I’m thankful that the Lord gives grace to people like me who could really be sunk at being too self-absorbed.

***

In my two years in an NGO, I can say that I learned a lot. It was and is a great ride. I can’t even narrate in words how much growth I had experience ever since. It was wonderful. Galing ni Lord kung san Niya ko nilagay, ngayon ko lang narealize!

I was strengthened intellectually and emotionally throughout the whole course of being a Program Officer. I had no clue and I started from scratch but see, the Lord got my back on the most confusing times of my life at the work place. #iSurvived It was amazing now that I think of it. (I’ll have to have a separate post on the learnings I had working with the people in an NGO.)

One of the pivotal moments though was doing the Admin/Messengerial work — the things I considered of “small” importance when it was not. I gained new appreciation for them. It was different. Imagine, they take care of a company’s government duties and all! I mean, we must not look on them as if we’re much greater than them because we are in a higher position. NO. That mindset is wrong.

It reminded me so much how small people (like me) matter in the plans of God. There are big people, yes, but they also needed the small people. We need each other. We compliment each other’s strengths and weaknesses. That no matter what your role in life is, you have occupy a space here on earth and therefore: you matter.

***

The small things are not always the smallest when it comes to greatness of impacts. Small doesn’t mean less. There might be difference in sizes, difference in roles played, difference in circumstances and it all boils down on how you’ll see the small things in the bigger picture of life.

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