Never had I been in any relationship in my twenty-one years here on Earth and I don’t know when would I be in one. I’m a firm believer that the best is yet to come and my only chance at it is when I learned to wait patiently. However, every time a very dear friend of mine experience heart break, I always always wanted to comfort them the best that I can especially if in that moment, I won’t be by their side to hug them tight (to give them cookies and siomai) and narrate to them the eternal lists of how beautiful they are as a person.
To the girl who always had the greatest potential:
You texted me last night to tell me that you are in the core of a break-up; your long year relationship has finally ended. I want to let you know that I am sorry. I want to tell you that everything will be fine and everything will come into passing – that the time will come when you can finally run again and eventually you will fly, you can fly. You were always meant to fly.
I know, people will probably laugh at me – and I too, sometimes, find myself funny – when I give love advice when I, for one, never experienced and felt the same way that you did. But I hope you’ll hear me out, even so.
I know a lot of things don’t make sense right now – your heart is beaten and bruised from the whole course of your fight for love. It has been a tough ride. You have conquered the waves, you took courage to sail against the current. You had been very brave. You believe in this love sincerely that you had willingly given yourself in the deep blue of the ocean where most of us won’t even dare to swim through. You were gasping for breath each time, you didn’t care if your legs are tired from swimming; the jellyfish may sting you but you just know in your heart that going to the bottom of it will prove to yourself that what you felt and where you are in is because of love.
I don’t blame you because of your choices. And I don’t think that this will be a wasted time, let alone, a wasted story. I’ve seen in it in you. You have this vast ability to care and to love. You are a story – and a very beautiful one at that. You are waiting to unfold. So, you need all these – the pain, the doubt, the tears, the weak knees, the lost appetite, the fear, the consequences, the feeling of emptiness. You need to feel that you are broken. You need to feel this hollow at this very moment. This might be the hardest days in the world for you, but you have to go through this like the way you did being at the bottom of the ocean: just keep swimming through.
While you are struggling to go back from the way it was, I hope that you will stop. Stop thinking that you can return, that you can do it all over again if the relationship will be given another chance, that maybe you are just running away from a bad dream. Let me tell it to you frankly, my love:
It’s over. Nobody’s coming back. Nobody’s expecting you to return. This is the end of the road for that relationship. It is finished. You are now free.
You have to keep living. You have to make your way up, the sun has always shine its rays in the surface of the water. Follow that light. Paddle at your own pace and do yourself a favor of not looking back. You have to rise from the depths of the blue; it might be a long long way to finally breathe the air from the dock of the bay, but you’ll be there soon should you choose it to be.
If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this person, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in – God will rush in – and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using that person to block that door. Let it go.
– Eat. Pray. Love.
Remember, the only mistakes we can have in life are the ones that we didn’t choose to make right.
Love will come again. As long as we live, we will love. Someone will come and accept everything that we are, everything we have become and everything we will be. Just believe and pray that when the time comes, you are fully restored and healed. I know you will be, and I’m excited to see all of it. Did you know that in order for the caterpillar to become a butterfly, it needs to let go of its head? Gross idea, but, sometimes what we most treasure is the very same thing that we have to fully surrender in order for us to achieve our full metamorphosis. The caterpillar will never become a beautiful butterfly when it will just keep its head forever. It goes the same way with us humans, we cannot take hold of what’s best until we learn to let go of what’s good. Always easier said than done, but believe that God will help you surrender.
You are beautiful. True love will always see you as beautiful. And I hope you can give it to yourself – that love – and believe that in the midst of all these, you are still beautiful, you will be beautiful. Learn to find yourself again. Learn to forgive yourself. The beauty of being broken is the very miracle that someday, in God’s most perfect timing, you will be whole again.
God loves you, my dear. You are a gift from God to all of us and we love you. I can’t wait for the time when I can see your full bloom out of this brokenness.
When the past has passed from you at last, let go. Then climb down and begin the rest of your life. With great joy.
– Eat. Pray. Love.