Battle Scars

If there’s one thing, Death is a reality. And Pain goes along with it. And man, this Life is going to hurt, it will really really hurt. And you’re not going to be okay. Because Death is not okay.

Lately there’s always been news about sickness and dying of sickness and funerals. To be honest, funeral is the last thing I ever wanted to go to in this lifetime. Well, no one ever wanted funerals. No one ever wanted to die or let someone they love so dearly be snatched away from their fingertips. No one ever wanted to experience loss because losing someone can be unbearable. I cannot imagine the pain it takes to realize that you cannot hold that one person you’ve been with your whole life anymore. The word painful cannot even delineate how death can leave a hole in someone’s heart. Any other word cannot even.

I’ve been in the sidelines of watching a friend after a friend sticking out the courage to fight with their parents who’s suffering from this villain called Cancer until it was proven – time and again – how human efforts can only do so much. Sometimes nothing’s ever gonna be enough to stop cancer from taking away someone precious. It breaks hearts and hearts that hope for healing. It shutters bones that stand strong amidst continued beating. It brings despondency to the eyes of someone who used to be only consumed by fire but not anymore because flame was put out because of tears.

Cancer has its ways to creep into your lungs until your gasping out of air even if you’re not the one caught by it, even if you’re just battling it with someone who you’re holding on to because you don’t ever wanna let go and give up on the people you love, right? But Cancer or any other disease can disregard all of your fighting fuel. Really, it will just give it a cruel go and let death happen. And then that’s it, it ended someone’s life. And you’ll feel as if you were taken along.

God is good. All the time.

We’ve been so used to this line. We know it is written in the Bible. We use this as an encouragement for every downcast soul we meet; believing that everything happens for a reason, knowing that the God we serve is a big God, much bigger than our circumstances. But there might come a time when we will be filled with doubt and our confidence to this truth will be shaken. And when it happens, I hope we pour out all our burdens, questions, longings and desperation in a To Be Honest, God barrel and hold on to it no longer. Carry it no longer.

Because that’s the beauty of Life. That though it hurts, we can call out for help. When we are in pain, when we are down and hopeless, when we are in fear and we feel too much, when we meet Death in the eye threatening to take anybody we love, we can cry out an honest cry to the Lord and He’ll hear our broken voices and wounded hearts.

And when time comes that we lose a battle with life, when death wins, be still and know that it’s not the end. That the moment we chose to surrender everything, the moment we chose to believe in our Savior Jesus Christ, the moment we chose to lay all our encumbrance at His feet, that’s also the very moment that we are carried and enveloped in His arms. The enemy may bring excessive pain or sickness or death in this life but our Savior cannot be held down by such things. It holds no power.

We may be lonely because we are the ones left. And we’ll probably miss them terribly everyday. And sometimes mornings may not seem like a good one because it’s not the same anymore. We cannot see them anymore, or smell them, or touch them, or tell them our usual banters, or feel them. We cannot spend any more time with them because time was already gone. It’s not the same. Someone we dearly love is gone. It’s never gonna be the same.

But the sun still rises. And the sun still sets. The moon still glows. And the stars still shine. Time will keep on running. And there’ll be a day like tomorrow. There’ll still be weeks. And months. And years. And sometimes it will still hurt. And it’s okay because we still have God. And our God understands.

To be the one who stays at the moment means we still have a lot to accomplish. We have a purpose. We still are to make a dent in this universe; leaving it like it was never left before. One day, we will unite in the heavens and our hearts will fill with joy as we revel in each other’s presence again. And there’ll be no pain, no sorrow, no tears.

Someday.

One day.

But for now, while we travel and feel the Earth with our hands, we go on. We move on. We get molded and strengthened and made new each day. We have battle scars to show up what’s having faith looks like.

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