Do Not Fear the Future, Thomas

I had been meaning to write something about how September greeted me with so many unexpected things in life since Day 1. But much to my chagrin, I wasn’t able to sit down face-to-face with this white blank page until today.

To summarize what’s the fuzz in my mind about: I am just overwhelmingly grateful of how the Big Guy favored me in the most unexpected time in my most unguarded moment.

If you ever heard about the disciple named Thomas, you might actually heard about me: the Doubter. I am a person who doubts a lot – mostly, the subject of all my doubts is myself. I got this very low regard with my capabilities as an individual; I tend to focus more on what I might fail to do or what I might actually done wrong to a perfect situation. I’ve come to learn that that’s not humility. Whenever we say, I can’t do this or I don’t know how to do that, we really are hindering all the possibilities where God can intervene in our lives. Sometimes, when doubt just pops out a big CAUTION: This might be dangerous for you, it is strongly suggested for you not to continue – we just freeze and we just want to stay where we are comfortable. Fear takes over. Doubt is eating up on Hope, every second that it counts.

Last month, I was really at the edge of my seat wanting to dive in my sea of worries. And I did so, because I lost heart like losing a battle I’m itching to win. That particular Friday, I became emotional, too emotional, that I cried to God to ask Him what does He want from me because I believe I gave it my all and all I wanted is some consolation – what about what I want, for a change? Selfish little brat that I am, I did ask that.

I wanted to explore a new field. I already proclaimed it with all conviction that I’ll be in one on September. And then doubt came in halfway August and I panicked. How can I possibly enter September with new beginnings if the company I’m applying for – the company which my mother told me to try – haven’t been in contact with me after two days? Spell #atat. LOL. (Now that I’m looking back, it was actually funny that I think they won’t ever consider getting me since they haven’t given me a text, call or email…and it was only two days passed!!!) That day, I seriously accepted the fact that they won’t ever regard me. See what our emotional hormones can do?

I was discussing all my drama to the Lord and just before I dwell deeper into the quicksand of paranoia and worry, a text message came in. Guess what the message was about? Yup, it’s God telling me, Why are you in such a hurry? Have you forgotten that everything is under my control? because the company already came in contact with me and told me that I am scheduled for an exam and interview the following week.

In that week, I finally surrendered all my doubts. I prayed to God that if the job really is for me, He’ll make way; if it’s not, I prayed that He’ll bless my heart whatever the decision may be. I will not elaborate point-per-point how everything unfold the way it did. All I know was, the Lord backed me up big time. Meaning, He approved of me getting it and so I did. Everything went smoothly by God’s grace! True enough, what I proclaimed September to be, it happened.

After getting the job, another set of doubt – actually, fear – came in. Since I’m getting myself in a new field, I’m fully aware that it’s different from what (some) people will expect from me. I’m afraid that they’ll judge me. Some of them – I saw through their actions and words – seemed to think through on my decision, assessing if I’m doing the right one. I know that they are just concerned, but that kind of quiet pressure, made me doubt my decision to explore this new field too. And I remembered that I prayed about this, the Lord gave His answers clear. I need not to worry.

You see, we all are in varying stages or phases in our lives where we are choosing what we want to be, where we want to be. To tell you honestly, I don’t know where I wanted to be and what I want to become, yet. If others are sure that they wanted to be teachers, accountants, doctors, writers, musicians, etcetera; all I wanted – as of this moment – was to be an explorer of life: to do things with my heart, to feel the world in my hands. I swear, I see nothing wrong with that. I think it’s beautiful to enjoy the voyage when you haven’t got a clue where you are headed. At least for me, that’s the case.

Although I fear the future, calculating if my decisions will benefit me in the long run, I have come to realize that I don’t have to, because the Lord has promised to be with me wherever I go.

And as for my Doubt,

Doubt was cool. Doubt was predictable. It broke my heart a lot less. But over time, that changed and I realized that all doubt really did was stifle truth. I am always grateful for that. There are big things out there for each of us. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is just believe.

-Isabel Garcia

Take that! Lol

Instead of Fear, I’ll choose to Hope. Hope always lets you believe that you can fly and it has always been a liberating feeling touching the clouds.

There’s a lot to learn in this new expedition. I pray that the Lord will give me Courage to face the calmness of the sea, as well as its rages. For the now, let’s take heed of my September Moodboard (yes, it’s back!!!): Do Not Fear the Future :)

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My Love for Words and My Random Thoughts

Back in grade school and high school, I was never the girl who writes, nor the one who reads, but I got a love affair with words.

It started with rejection. The time when my third grade teammate reiterate my failure in misspelling a word that made our group lose the class competition. It’s that rainy Saturday of April when somebody I considered close to me told me I wasn’t pretty and I smell odd. It’s one afternoon at the rehearsals where one of the members of the group I’m leading blatantly refuses whatever I say about the sequencing of the play.

It started with the feeling of being out of place. When I met with a new group of friends who can’t entertain my existence in a discussion of a matter I’m not familiar with. When I entered a room full of strangers and no one dared to shake my hand and welcome me in. When I dressed up for the occasion to which I was not particularly invited to.

It started with weakness – of feeling inadequate, unsure, uncertain of other things I can do to be socially accepted.

Bad things come into three and so do good things. From the time of rejection, the feeling of being out of the boat with my shaky knees and teary eyes, it took someone who gave me a tap at the back and told me something that somehow erased my doubts. It took all the promises I had to read from Ephesians, Psalms, Jeremiah, Matthew, Proverbs or anywhere in the Bible, the promises from the One who could give my heart the stillness in the midst of chaos. It took words to get me through the sandstorms in the desert of self-pity and loneliness.

Later on, I found out that my love for words can flourish by: flipping through pages of adventure from different chapters of a book; or, slow dancing with my emotions from the core of my heart with the pen in my hand. Hence, I became the girl who reads and the girl who writes. Through it, I was exposed. It brought the birth and the continuous growth (in terms of content) of this blog. I wanted to vent out all my thoughts – on hope, faith, joy, grief, love, failure, life, God, or whatever else – and somehow, by doing so, hoped to make a little impact on someone’s life. The little impact that can be an entry point in planting seeds of trust (even just a mustard) to Someone Up There who makes everything happen for a reason.

And I want to tell you that I have always (and still am) insecure about people reading my stuff. Because, even though it is probably not a wise choice on my part, I write with my heart on my sleeve.

-Isabel Garcia

Yes, I was and still is insecure, but courage makes you do things as crazy as what you can do for love. I’m clueless if what I’m doing really matters to anyone (or even to just one someone) in cyberspace. I got no idea if I’m making any difference or if I am able to touch the depths of someone’s soul. But I got to thank those few who had been generous enough in giving me their appreciation, affirmation and support in this endeavor. My inner child in me always feels like being rewarded with an ice cream (triple chocolate, of course) every time I would hear those encouraging words. You might start to notice how much I value words. It’s kinda like my love language.

I still won’t know my impact nor my contribution to World Peace because of this blog, however, one thing’s for sure: I got to say what I got to say. There’s too much hope one could give to one’s self. :)

And with all these, I will end with my late Moodboard for August: Wake Up and Live. Wake up, do something for yourself, start over, make a move, live. :)

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Welcome Brave New Owners

Last Sunday night, after we got home from church, my mother and I watched We Bought a Zoo.

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This was a movie recommended by Isabel a few weeks ago as a perfect mother-daughter bonding movie and I say, IT absolutely IS. I recommend this for your whole family to watch together also. It’s very touching. It reminds you of the beauty and goodness of this circus adventure life. :)

Premise (c/o IMDb): [The movie is] set in Southern California, a father moves his young family to the countryside to renovate and re-open a struggling zoo.

Of course, it’s more complicated than that.

Following the death of his wife, Benjamin Mee was left to take care for his two children – Rosie (7) and Dylan (14). As for any single dad, Benjamin is having a hard time dealing with the grief of losing his wife and coming up with certain decisions he should make for his kids and for their future.

In the desire of taking over a new start, he resigned from his job as a newspaper writer and moved his family from the city into a home that doubles to a local zoo. In the end, what he really finds is that the past won’t be held by geography but by memory (Isabel’s words).

Sometimes we try so hard to escape the hurt, the pain and the lost that we had, thinking if we can go somewhere else, do something else, be with someone else then our fears will go away, that our past would somehow be okay. The past will haunt you sooner or later unless you made peace with it. Yes, we don’t and we shouldn’t live in the Past, it’s once was; the Present is now, it’s today. But it doesn’t mean that you have to forget the past completely. We can’t escape it, you know. We have to face it.

True courage doesn’t begin with starting over. It begins with grief, putting the ghosts to bed and then, afterwards, letting love – an entire zoo of it – back in.

-Isabel Garcia

Starting over is accepting what has happened and bringing forth a pocketful of courage for the journey of life where doubt is inevitable. And like Mr. Mee said, all we need is 20 seconds of insane courage before something great could happen to us – maybe our Happy can be loud by then. We got to do it. We got to practice it once in a while.

Favorite lines from the movie:

Whatever is the laziest word in this century. I’m over with whatever.

-Benjamin Mee

Do me a favor? Attempt to start over.

-Duncan

Bad things happen. You just keep going.

I love new. New is the new old.

-Mr. Stevens

Complicated is okay. Complicated can be great. We love complicated, right?

-Benjamin Mee

Sometimes you don’t know what it is until you see what it is.

-Mr. Stevens

Their happy is too loud.

-little Rosie

The secret to talking is listening.

-Kelly

I figured, when you love somebody that much, that hard, that long, you cannot let go of them wherever you go. Because that only happens once in your life.

-Benjamin Mee

Stop moping around, pick up a shovel and dig a hole. Do something.

-Benjamin Mee

Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage – just literally, 20 seconds of insane bravery – and I promise you something great will come of it.

-Benjamin Mee

If you do something for the right reasons, nothing can stop you.

-Duncan

It’s not about where the adventure ends. It’s not about where it starts. It’s what happens in between. That’s the bonus.

-Benjamin Mee

And with all these, I shall give you my über late July Moodboard: Insane Courage. :)

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The secret in being courageous is being in the presence of the Big Guy. And you know what, as light and salt of the world, we owe them our courage. :)

Btw, please pray for a quick recovery for the Philippines especially in areas where the heavy rains caused flash floods and landslides and lost – of family members, of houses… And for some, it might be the lost of hope. The weather in our country hasn’t been really good lately. Thank you very much.

For donations…

For my fellow-Pinoys who got affected by flood, I pray for comfort for your families. Makakabangon ang Pilipinas! Courage, my friends, we are all between the paws of the true Aslan. :) let’s hang on together.

And I know, we all missed him… He’s finally here!!!

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And I say, it’s (it will be) alright. Too-doo-doo too-doo-doo too-doo. :)

Ten Things I Know To Be True

This list is inspired by Sarah Kay. I promise to write about her amazingness soon! :) For now let’s go over my list…

1. I can over think things.
When I found out that one should not think too hard and just go ahead and enlist their answers to this question, my mind kept wallowing on what I think could be a good idea to put on this list. I just kept doing that until I am quite dizzy and not knowing what to put in anymore. So, I’ll just made a rule to let myself be myself and not complicate things when I do not become myself. Over thinking can sometimes spoil the broth. I shall let myself relax.

2. We all got Faith.
In just about everything we do, we exercise our faith, we have it inside each of us – when sitting on a chair, riding in the car, talking to someone on our mobile phones, cooking our favorite meals, believing in what we can do, believing on what God can do, and many more. We all got faith, it’s the object of our faith that differs. And although we may be totally sincere in our faith, sometimes, we can get all rumbled up in a wrong one which could lead us to a tragic end. So that’s why it’s of great importance to know where you place your faith and if it really is sincerely on the right track of the road.

3. I felt a bit sad when Pluto got voted off the nine planets in the Solar System.
After years of research, they found out that Pluto is not really a planet, it’s just a comet or something else that is part of the space. It reminded me how certain things in life don’t stay the same and that you had to let it go, let it be and accept it with all your heart and understanding. Though there may be confusion and refusal and pain, nothing ever really stays the same. Believe that there’s gonna be a light at the end of the tunnel someday.

4. You are only as strongest as your weakest point.
I believe that blisters, wounds and scars are not designed just to give us throes, tingles and twinges. It’s meant for something more that’s why we go through it sunny bright or chilly winter night. How else can we value successes if not for failures? How else can we appreciate victory without defeat? How else can we be grateful for mercy and grace and love when we know we don’t deserve any of it because of all we’ve done wrong? How else can hope mean something more when we haven’t gone through desperations and tough times? The world may be made out of sugar and it crumbles down, but, don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out in the air and taste it.

Perhaps strength doesn’t reside in having never been broken.. But in the courage required to grow stronger in the broken places.

5. Hope is fluffy and whole lot of lovely.
Somebody once said, we see the impossible everyday. Impossible is trying to connect in this world, trying to hold on to others when things blow up around you. Hope is a fireball of doing the impossible, believing the unbelievable, loving the unlovable. It teaches us to swim the depths of the ocean as if we can gasp air in any minute. It is a mustard seed and a very close relative of Faith.

To have Faith is to be stubborn, to know the happy endings exist, to believe the story is not over even though it feels like it is. It is for the crazy and the brave.

-Isabel Garcia

It even move mountains. It’s the smile in the frown, the courage in the fear, the tranquility in anxiousness. It’s the many oxymorons. It’s hope and it’s beautiful.

6. Practice makes permanent.
Jeff Goins once said, If you want to be something – anything – a good place to start is with doing it, regardless of how you feel.

When I started blogging/writing, I never knew how this would all turn around over time. I was never born a writer and I believe writers are born and not made. It is innate in them, you know, it’s like writing comes out naturally like a hug or kiss you voluntarily give to someone who is very close to you. It’s like their best stature – their moment of writing. And there I was one day, trying to squeeze myself in that same kind of art where your experience makes a lot more fun and confusion takes a toll on your understanding when it’s all written down. And now, my secret love affair with words and poetry are all out an open field. I’m quite happy reaping its harvest. And yes, it’s true what they say about practice. Do it. Be it.

7. You are beautiful.
No matter what the television says nor the magazine’s latest issue nor the radio’s nonsense advertisements. The heck with the world! You are still beautiful.

Wearing your retainers and big dark glasses with all your sweatpants even when you’re twenty-two doesn’t make you less interesting. Your mocha toned skin just suits you right. When they say that boys don’t cry and you, on the other, do when you were happy because your baby sister received her valedictory award at school or when you got your heart broken from the wrong girl, that’s reasonable.

People in this world sometimes can be discouraging and they will peel you off the sunbeam you’re radiating. As long as you got love sprinkled with faith and hope and grace, you are beautiful. Rise above the situation and hand them flyers on bravery, strength and courage because you are beautiful.

8. Unlike Superman, Batman can’t fly.
Even in that situation, Batman didn’t stop helping, he didn’t stop caring, he didn’t stop being a hero. We are our own heroes even if we don’t get to fly and have our own superpowers. The only thing we can bring forth as a weapon in this course of life is the courage and hope and faith to the One who can empower us. Offering our service to others need not to be grand, in our own little ways, our random act of kindness to a friend or a stranger can make a difference.

9. Fear is a friend that’s misunderstood.
We all have fears. It creeps in every night in the dark. Fear is a natural emotion designed by God, however, fearfulness is living in a state of fear and is not designed by God. Sometimes we don’t wanna face our giants and we just wanna run. But if you do and you bring with you the voice of Truth, you’ll see that the stone is just the right size to put your giants on the ground. The waves don’t seem so high when you’re on top of them looking down. You will soar with the wings of eagle when you listen to the sound of Jesus’ singing over you.

10. I go to seek the Great Perhaps.
We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. Our own Great Perhaps is out there somewhere in the woods across the sea in the dark forest. We may encounter thorns and bushes and labyrinths on our way but never fret and never worry. Choose the labyrinth. The labyrinth blows but choose it.

There’ll be days like these, my mama said, when you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises. When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you wanna save are the ones standing in your cape. When your boots will fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment. And those are the very days you have all the more reason to say ‘thank You’ ‘coz there’s nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shorelines no matter how many times it’s sent away.

-Sarah Kay

We can face our own Great Perhaps with our backpacks full of sunshine and pixie dust of courage and never giving up. It will be scary but remember the numbers 2 – 9 of this list. Plus, know that everything happens for a reason. The Big Guy doesn’t roll a dice so don’t be afraid. He’s in control.

With that, I shall give you my (on-time, finally!) Moodboard for June: Seek the Great Perhaps. :)

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Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.

Btw, have you counted how many times I said the word courage, faith and hope in the list? Yes, I said it all too many times so that we’ll never forget it. Above all these, Love is still the greatest! :)

Be blessed! Cheers! :D

Happy First!

For the record, writing-slash-blogging requires Effort. Haha. It’s very challenging to write sometimes because it consumes more of your time. Instead of drowning yourself to sleep, you pound the keyboard and pouring out your treasured moments for the sake of the chronicles. Writing is like talking non-stop and not caring if you’re showering an ample amount of your saliva to the person in front of you. But still, you write/you talk, because that’s where you feel you’re freedom. :)

College. The four years I spent studying under a Mass Communication course at the Polytechnic University of the Philippines was a sweet scent of vanilla and maple syrup as well as big bites from the bugs’ life in the woods combined. I mean, it’s the same principle of everyone – there are happy, cloud9 moments (especially with strangers who became your friends); there are stormy, I-am-not-expecting-this-to-happen moments (when friends become like strangers again and a bit annoying). College is more than just the friends you’ll meet, though. It’s about being invincible, being carefree, being confident, being vulnerable, being in the state of falling for a friend, being in the decision of sticking to just-friends. It’s about learning. It’s about dreaming for a future, your future, a wonderful future.

Fast forward to today. You graduated. It would be your time to grab the future you wanted. And yes, the world – real world – is not very kind, however, Someone is beyond the world. There is that Someone you can hold on to. Someone who you can throw all your worries, fears, disappointment and tears to. Someone who you can share your achievements, successes, goals and ambitions to. There is that Someone – you can find Him somewhere deep inside you if you longed to.

When I graduated, I always thought of working in a corporation – be on Advertising or Marketing just because I thought the coolness of such works. Or maybe, if not there, I would be in a firm, a research firm since I graduated a Communication Research course – maybe I could learn more of researching once in the firm. Or maybe I could be at your major network stations, getting interesting stories to be featured for different programs. Or maybe somewhere else I won’t expected I’d be in. And of course, the latter opportunity came knocking in weeks after my graduation day or what we call the bumming stage (crucial stage on the hype of vacation and the pressure on finding your first job).

Unlike most of my batch mates, I didn’t really look for, find, or search for a job that hard. I received a call from my OJT trainer one of the chilly nights of May and he told me that I should pursue an interview to this certain organization who’s looking for new personnel. Because he’s my trainer and he’s quite mapilit (in English, persistent), I ended up going to the interview. When I was there, I thought that I would take an exam and all that but the interviewer (my boss now) was like orienting me on the nature of the job already. And she wanted for me to start first day of June. See, after graduation, I told the people around me that I would have a job by the month of June and May would be a month of rest and vacation. Lo and behold, it happened.

Today, I celebrate my first year (!!!) working as a Program Officer (or coordinator) at Christian Convergence for Good Governance – CCGG. It is a faith-based organization that aims to equip, advocate and help in good governance and nation-building. It has three core programs: Corruption Prevention or Integrity and Accountability; Voter Education and Micah Challenge.

I could sum up my first year as in I-never-expected-all-these feelings. Before, I don’t have any idea why, how or what they are doing. I can’t comprehend. Today, there are times that I still don’t, but, I got a grasp of what it is. It’s about doing something for the country – doing God’s work for your country. I got a patriotic cry also, although, I never expected it to be like this. I mean, it’s an effort. What I see in my boss, trainer and the people in the office: it’s a passion. I don’t have that high of a passion yet. And there are times that I just wanted to quit because I felt that I might not be helping them or I’m an added burden. I still think of quitting, however, I know I shouldn’t. It’s not yet the time.

I am thankful because the Big Guy gave me a job career, perhaps, that I needed. All talk saying you love your country but there’s no action is just a waste. You got to find what you want to advocate for while you’re young – that’s what I’ve learned from them. There would be a lot of skills like coordinating events, popularizing in-depth topics, bringing services to the marginalized groups, networking with other organizations, making budgets and proposals, and many more – those are skills, my boss said, that I should grab while staying in the organization. I might not totally be engrossed with all the things that we do, at the very least, I should get all the skills that’s gonna be in front of me. It’s just so fulfilling, however, when we got opportunities to bring the message to whoever: youth, pastors, corporate people. And I love that fulfilling feeling. :)

I thank Him also for my boss. I’m sure if I work in other company or what not, they can never be as patient as my boss is. She is one true genuine patient individual when it comes to me. I could be very stubborn and not do my best at all times and earn not-so-good outcomes, but, she’ll give me chances to recover when I fail. Sometimes even I’m afraid to talk to her about some things, she gave me unsolicited advices – they’re unsolicited, but it’s what I need. I think she is the kindest boss and I’m thankful that she is and that she is my boss.

There a lot of things at work I am thankful for:
•the way we all eat together at lunch, even with the adjacent org – ACDA
•the food that we are eating especially during birthdays, special occasions or just when Ate Nonette’s brings a lot of ulam from their supper last night
•the clothes that Ate Nonette, Ate Rose or Miss Joy (my boss) gave me surprisingly
•even the chocolates and other simple gifts we receive at Valentine’s Day from the ACDA people (Ate Nonette and Miss V)
•the staff devotion my boss facilitates and all those prayer time that we have – I really felt the Lord is teaching me to be more prayerful; hence, I’m in CCGG
•the many other wonderful things that sometimes I miss out or ignore
•and other many things that I can’t write down anymore :)

There’s a lot that I learned and there are more to come. With that, I would end (again) by my Moodboard which is for the month of May (I’m just so late again on posting): Far Better Things. Photo (source) credits: Happy Things and Bubbly Kat.

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Because there are far better things that lies ahead, far wonderful and even more blessed than the year had gone in celebration of my first year in this career. :)

Be on the edge of a miracle. Depend. Believe. Cheers!

Seek and Find

When I promised to be back on hardcore blogging this March, I kinda did otherwise. Well, for my regular readers–fore mostly, my bestfriend or my buddy (although I’m not pretty sure about this one)–I apologize for late updates on posting. This is me, acting like I got real readers here, YET AGAIN. Why? It’s fun that way! :)

So yeah, how have you been?

As for me, one of the reasons I’ve been out from blogging was because of my mom who happens to enjoy Viktor (my iPod) and the Blitz game which makes harder for me to mobile-blog na lang undisciplined time for things I need to do, to prioritize and to finish. The same struggle I’ve been facing before; just look at my posts down past this article.

I can’t really write when my soul is not in line with my mind which could translate in abandoning some of the things I do which requires emotion. And yes, writing-slash-blogging is a part of it for the reason that when I do write, I write as me–no facade, no disguise. Although photoblogging is a different thing, hence, my Tumblr is super up and kicking happy bones. :) I kinda left my sketching-slash-doodling for a while also because I drained my unipin pen, the one I’m using for sketchi of my instability.

And all these instabilities, emptiness, confusions, depressions and frustrations will have their farewell party tonight for by the grace and power of my good Lord, my strength will be renewed! I need to do what Paul did; I need to buffet my body starting tomorrow so that the things I should do I will do and the things I shouldn’t be doing I’d stop doing so. I declare guidance, discipline and focus as I put my head on this journey. I’ll be needing you too, a lot of prayers from you will be of big help, so I need them again, okay?

Somebody once said, for an action to become a habit, you have to do it everyday for the next twenty-one days. However, to be able to arrive at a certain action, you need to renew your mind. By renewing your mind, it means you have to break from everything you habitually thought of doing; you need to reconstruct. I need to reconstruct.

By the end of the twenty-one days, my objectives are the following:

  • To do quiet time (QT) everyday at dawn.
  • To meditate on what I’ve learned from QT before going to bed.
  • Finish all my pending tasks–whether at work or at home or for myself.
  • Go to bed early and wake-up early.
  • Exercise and eat right (meaning, consuming right amount of food only)–this one’s kinda hard ah!
  • To get an accountability partner who would monitor me.
  • Complete attending Global Leadership Center (GLC) Level 1
  • Find new D-Group (that’s because my group from the old one went out of the country and I’m too young to belong to their group; so now, I need to find one that would suit me)
  • Give excellence at work
  • Revive the simplest, but fun, things I enjoy doing (writing poems, learning the guitars, finding something recreational stuff to do, doing doodles, people-watching, blog-stalking, etc)

Ain’t I too ambitious to list all these things? I think not. Nothing is impossible with the Big Guy plus hard work on my part. That’s why I need prayers, and you dear reader ought to give me some, okay? :) I pledge also to post updates on the blog regarding my quest for the best at least twice a week. :)

With this, I offer you my March Moodboard: Seek and Find.

For those who seek the Lord will not lack any good thing in their lives. Let’s focus our eyes on the real price and be mesmerized on the miracle that He will do in and through us. Cheers! :)

A Conversation with God

I found this article posted in the office news board, I found it worth-sharing, so here. :)

Me: God can I ask you a question?

God: Sure.

Me: Promise You won’t get mad?

God: I promise.

Me: Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do you mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late.

God: Yes.

Me: My car took forever to start.

God: Okay.

Me: At lunch, they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait.

God: Hmmmmm.

Me: On my way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call.

God: All right.

Me: And to top it all off, when I got home I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager and relax. BUT, it wouldn’t work! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.

Me: (humbled) OH.

God: I didn’t let your car start because there was a drunk driver in your route that would have hit if you we re on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich to day was sick and I didn’t want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn’t afford to miss work.

Me: (embarrassed) Okay.

God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn’t even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me: (softly) I see, God.

God: Oh, and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn’t think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I’m sorry, God.

God: Don’t be sorry, just learn to trust Me–in all things, good and bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don’t doubt that My plan for your day is always better than your plan

Me: I won’t God. And let me just tell you, God, thank You for everything today.

God: You’re welcome, child. It was just another day being your God and I love looking after My children.

…is what I truly need to have right now and each and everyday.

These past few days, as you may know, I’m having quite a hard time with myself. I got a lot of questions left unanswered, words left unsaid and things left to do, then. I still do, though, I’m better off a bit now. Later on I realized, I haven’t had my one-on-one talks and date with my Dad since the last week of the last month. :( Sad, I know, and it made me empty.

The only thing that would fill and complete me is when I come to His presence humbly and honestly. And I wouldn’t want to delay myself on that because as the days drag on and I don’t take heed on His words, it keeps making me weak. It’s like whatever I do, it holds no importance.

Yes.

So, thank you for praying for me. God is always at work and is starting with my heart and soul. I just need to push myself a lot more and then, everything will be fine again.

Please pray for me some more, okay? :)

P.S.: I’ll be back on hardcore blogging this March. See you all again sooooon!!!

And oh, before I forgot. Here is my moodboard for the month of February.

Go. Be You.

xoxo,

Ninsy