Alaska and the Stars: An Afterthought

I’ve always wanted to write down (in the blog) what I felt after I read The Fault in Our Stars back in January but I never had the time. I always wanted to write about Looking For Alaska which I read last year but as you can see, that I wasn’t able to do also. Boo. But let me try to change all of that today. :)

The Fault in Our Stars
Note: What you are about to read is the very emotions that I had right after I finished the last page of the book. There are some spoilers here, you’ve been warned. Also, if you haven’t read the book, READ it.

Hazel’s dad kept saying that the universe wanted to be noticed; and that it would push itself to be noticed. Hazel, on the other, wanted the universe to notice them for once. She had been noticing the universe far too long.

I don’t know but it was in a way that it somehow looked unfair from their side that they felt love, and they were in love, but they were sick as hell and either one is healthier than the other or vice versa. They were in a path woven for each other but could never meet the ends. It will cross but it will pass straight the other direction. And I kind of think that it was unfair too.

It was.

However, this life isn’t all about us. Never is and never was. Sometimes we’re too succumbed by our own miseries that we feel that the world owe us something; that we don’t deserve to be treated any less; that we should always get what we worked hard for. But no. Until we learn to notice the universe, to give attention to what is far more important, we wouldn’t know that this, this life is more than just us. There is Someone Somewhere doing Some things greater (actually, all things) for each of us if we let it. Capital S.

We are in a universe where as much as we wanted it to notice us, it won’t. Until we see the bigger picture that we are only a part of Something greater, we won’t fully surrender. We got our own infinities and it can surpass other infinities and this world is gonna turn, it will, either up or down. It won’t care if we are hanging tight or letting loose. Try to see it in a new light, try to appreciate whatever it brings to the table, try to scratch off the idea that it is indebted to you. It is not.

Feel all the pain, the joy, the sorrows, the overwhelming peace. Feel the universe. Let your eyes see it. And whatever comes and whatever goes, may you find the courage to believe that Someone made it and you are only a part of it but even so, even there is so much more in life and the world you are in, Someone made you also matter. But sometimes you just got to see the bigger picture.

There is.

If not for their current health situation (Hazel and Augustus); if not for their paths that will cross, will meet but won’t stay too long – at least for life on earth – I think they won’t understand love in the way they did. At a young age, they got brave souls. They got that heart, the You Can Never Explain In Words kind of heart. They felt everything. They were everything. And I think they’re infinite, present tense.

Also. I don’t think there’s any fault in the way their stars were drawn. Yes, it wasn’t a And They Lived Happily Ever After because Hazel lived, yes, but Augustus died. But true love don’t die, does it? Even memory sometimes forgets, the heart will never seek to delete something it felt so genuinely pure and true as that of true love. The stars had crossed but at the time it met in the middle; that, they have. That, they keep. Keep in their hearts.

Praises for John Green’s rawness!

***

Looking For Alaska
When I read this book a year ago, this was my first encounter on how raw the story of a writer such as John Green could be. Unlike Fault, I wasn’t able to write down what I had felt after reading it and that was a major mistake. I could’ve caught myself saying something more fluid than what I could say now. (See kids, if you felt you got to write something down ((an idea, concept, poem, story)) you better write it down immediately. That’s the formula in writing.)

We all living under different stories in life. When we welcome people inside, when we invest on them, we experience something more magical. We see our life in a new light just like Pudge when he met Chip and Alaska. Theirs was a story of finding their own Great Perhaps, exposing themselves to what it means to truly live, what could courage do to you, what could life offer and what offer you don’t refuse. Even when life will let you lose something/someone, when it blows land mine in front of your face, when you can’t take the grief anymore, you got to believe that there is a place that will be beautiful – where everything will be beautiful. But for the Now, I hope we are living, we are taking life in the open: ready to be loved, to fall in love, to fall down and get hurt, to lose someone, to meet someone, to grieve, to cry, to just feel. Let’s all find our Great Perhaps and let’s all have the courage to live it.

***

And now it’s time for bookmarks! Or in other words, the feels, those conversations, monologues or statements that really strike me – those that captured my core.

Note: This is super KADUPER long. Again don’t tell me that I didn’t warn you. But if you’ll continue to read, it will be amazing. John Green’s words are wonderfully crafted and written.

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Hakuna Matata!

I am feeling bright today. :) so bright that it makes me want to hug somebody so tight (!!!) that it would make them realize that even life’s a bit annoying, there’s something so warm and welcoming that’s waiting for them even it could left them gasping for air. Haha!

The thing is I was so hard on myself yesterday that it made me think of a lot of things, a lot of worst things, and a lot of things that I should not think of thinking. Get it? And I did some things to sort out what’s going on in my Thought Life because it keeps on making me feel depressed and lonely and empty and just way way down the borders of seeing every hidden silvers on the lining. What would be the best way to address those kinds of situations? Talk to Someone who will understand, Someone who has your best interest at heart, Someone who is always there waiting for you to share how’s your day been and what bothers you, Someone who will give the best advice in the world but you would consider (if not silliest) is the toughest thing to do, Someone you should run to every single day of your life.

You know how sometimes I forget to depend to the One who’s truly dependable that I ended up doing and solving whatever life throws in front of my face alone? When those days happen, when I can’t figure it out anymore, when I am exasperated beyond the limits of what could be the most tiring day of all — those were the times that I suddenly remember. Sad, but well, true. Sometimes I can make everything look perfectly fine in the surface when it actually don’t. Those were the times that are hard enough for me to comprehend what’s going on; those were the times that insecurity crawls freely at the back of my mind causing doubt and unbelief; and I know, those were the times that I am not focused at all.

But the good thing is whenever you come back to refuel your lamp, The Lord is always there to light it up. He will always remind you that you are not alone in the very place He ordered you to go. He is not a God who will turn a blind eye to our difficulties. He will be there. He is never late; his timing is always perfect. His arms are always reaching out, ready to hold our hands to guide us in every step we are to take in obedience. When we refocus, we will see clearly what our Lord had set for us to do.

Hakuna matata! Live life with no worries; only obey.

I Forgot to Write

I forgot the simplest things in life that made me start whatever you see in these blank pages of cyber space named under a corner I considered mine…

I forgot the essence of bleeding my own story and crafting it in such a way that would inspire me (or others ((hoping))) to walk along the dark hallways of this not-so-much-focused-on-happy-endings kind of life…

I forgot to accommodate Mr. Time when he sincerely wanted to collaborate with Words that kept bogging my mind…

I forgot to see. I forgot to hear. I forgot to feel. I think I had lost my senses when all I wanted to do two years back was to seek, listen and observe the universe, taste every rough crater and watch how it spark intense meteor showers in this world, in my world – the vast ocean of falling stars.

I forgot my purpose here.

I forgot to thirst for the things that would matter here; the things I placed my bets in starting Day One, the things that once made me decide what would / what could I be, the things I considered of prime principle. I forgot them.

I forgot to be inspired. I forgot to inspire. I forgot to write.

I forgot to write for someone who I always wanted to write about. I forgot to write for myself. I started to notice people and I started to want people to notice me back (which hardly happen). And I know that that’s where it hits – I wasn’t able to get back on my feet – the damage I made to my Muse.

Why do we keep on wanting something we think we want that we forget that all the things we need are already right there in front of us?

I created this blog as a space for me to vent out my whatevers in life. This is supposed to be something I enjoy doing for myself – that I don’t think of anybody else when I post what I had to say (whether it’s right or wrong or we differ in view) here. And I did. I really did enjoy.

Back then, my ears are spilling with courage telling me that expressing myself through an art form (aka Writing) could be a good way for me to find myself, to understand the depth of my being, to enrich a talent that I could use in bringing people to believe in a quiet whisper of hope.

And I don’t want to stop now just because I’m discouraged. I know that the Big Guy is always behind me to support the very desire of my heart which I can use for His glory.

I loved blogging. I loved that I dreamed of inspiring people through writing; giving words of assurance not only to myself, but to whoever lands on this page, that no matter how hard the waves of life could be, our boat will never sink as long as we are with our Captain. That no matter how discouraged we are now, we can still choose to see the light in the darkest of places; we can still be conquerors even we once feared to be in a battle; we can still go back to where we used to be, to what we used to do – even we sometimes forget, there is Hope telling us that we can still learn to remember.

This Was The Dream, Two Years Ago

Year 2011 when we first heard that The Script is going to perform in Manila for their album For the First Time. Those were the days when we are cramming most of our projects in school, finishing our required hours in our OJTs, preparing for graduation and all that stuff. Back then, we couldn’t afford to go watch the concert and it made us sad, yes, but we know (we are positive) that the Irish band will come back soon…and they did!!! :)

Around November of last year, I got the news that they will be performing March 31st, 2013. I wasn’t so sure at first if I could get to watch them, but the thought of not seeing them live for the second time, it’s kind of disturbing. Haha! So, when opportunities come and grab your hands, you should take it and never let go. Lol. What am I saying?

Happy folks! :)

Happy folks! :)

We almost got bumped to Gen Ad since the tix were selling out really fast but there is Hope showing us that yes, we could do a little better than that. Lol. And we were so happy even we purch our tix mid-Feb na. :P (That lady up there is my friend Mayu. We wished that the Tomblrs [our kikay barkada..lol..KIDDING!] could watch with us too. There is a time for everything though. :D)

We were even more giddy when the 31st of March came in!

As for me, The Script would be the first mainstream foreign band I will watch…ever. I know that they are fantastic; their songs, their lyrics, they’re genius! I got some expectations and I believe that ALL of those were met and so much more when I got to watch them live! Haha! It was amazing!

I videoed some of the performances.. well, I wanted to video it all but I only got an iTouch and it’s only 8gb (and the previous days were hectic, hence I wasn’t able to empty it so I could save more videos) ergo, I wasn’t able to do just that. Ha! :P Anyways, I still got some vids to show you pa naman, don’t fret. Lol. (kung maka-show, my vids naman are not HD vids. HAHA)

The Script opened the show with their single Good Ol’ Days – which happens to be one of my favorite songs in their #3 album – and just like that, the whole crowd went crazy. It was sooooo magical! The concert started 8.45pm and lasted for about an hour and a half.

I think it really is heart warming for an artist to hear their fans sing along with every song they lined up in their concert…and I think Manila gave that warm to The Script. In every song, you’ll hear the voice in Araneta. :)

I just wanna cry when they sang this. It’s different when you hear it live. Parang ang sarap na lang magkabrokenheart. :P

It was surprising when they performed Science and Faith. Since it’s the #3 World Tour, I thought, all of the songs they’re gonna be playing will be from that album. But no. I hoped to hear this song so when it did come out I was jumping up and down! Literally! HAHA! I just loved every line on this! :)

“The best thing I like about you guys is you sing. You definitely sing the whole song…you know the songs better than I do!” -Danny O’Donoghue to Filipino fans

Hashtag: #kiligtothebones

This was the very first song that started it all! Glorious! :’)

This song is my ultimate favorite from the #3 album! It just hits you to the core! Those were lyrics made of blood and soul. (And it’s a song for my dad. :D)

There were other exceptional songs that were performed which I wasn’t able to capture in the lens but most definitely is kept in my heart and memory. There was one time when Mark asked the audience to take out their phones and call their exes; Danny got a phone from one of the audience in the VIP area who solely followed Mark’s instructions. Lol. And that’s when he sang Nothing…over the phone!!! How swerte the person on the other line! And we just all die of kilig! Oh, and I think I would want to be broken hearted talaga if Danny would sing that song over the phone for me. #ohlife

Their encore on You Won’t Feel a Thing was a wild one too since they surprised everyone when they performed again. Danny appeared in the Patron area going to the stage = Crazy!

The Script gave an astonishing performance! And they were generous too when they sang Good Ol’ Days one more time to end the concert. :)  I am thankful that I was there.

Mayu and I sang in all fourteen songs that were played in the duration of the concert (15 songs in total if we will count Good Ol’ Days since they sang it two times..sweet!). Six of which were from their first album: We Cry, Before the Worst, Talk You Down, The Man Who Can’t Be Moved, Breakeven and I’m Yours. And four each on their second: You Won’t Feel a Thing, For the First Time, Nothing and Science and Faith; and third album: Good Ol’ Days, If You Could See Me Now, Six Degrees of Separation and Hall of Fame. Talk about #lakasmakafan. Hihi. :D

And I can say, our Irish friends enjoyed performing for the Filipinos too! :)

Glenn's Tweet

I hope that they will be back soon! Like next-year-kind-of-soon! Haha! It was definitely a night to remember.

In the future, this will be the good ol' days. #maisingitlang :P

In the future, this will be the good ol’ days. #maisingitlang :P

Mission accomplished! <3 (Mayu and I agreed to get VIP tix when they come back! We wanted to see Danny up close!!!! Lol.)